From the word Muse, and if we get the meaning of this in the Meriam Webster dictionary, it goes like this:
1 : to become absorbed in thought; especially : to turn something over in the mind meditatively and often inconclusively
2 archaic : wonder, marvel
: to think or say reflectively
synonyms see ponder
Other forms: mused; mus·ing
To clarify, these posts are all about my reflections, meditations and thoughts that run through my mind. And looking back at 2013, I became so busy in making it more productive, exciting and generally, I got my wish and aspirations. Just think, its about 9 months ago since my last blog. And here I am again, writing away.. and remembering to activate this blog for a year in review.
I guess my facebook account can generally summarize my life more accurately. I AM STUMPED! Yes, basically I have a lot to share, and I am basically challenged to give you my year in review. Hahahaha I have to laugh or else I would cry buckets.
Lets see... hmmm I guess, you could say, my 2013 year started with a lot of promises. January started with a bang. I asked for an early vacation leave and spent the early part of the year and early weeks of February going around Hong Kong. Somewhere in these posts you can go through those posts I guess. The most memorable reflections I had then was, I love my family, I appreciate what God gave me and I am thankful that I am enjoying my life as a single lady with a lot less worries than other people in the world.
Then came the biggest surprise. Mom immediately was hospitalized a few hours after I have arrived home. After a few days, we went home from the hospital. She really disliked staying from hospitals, even preferring to pretend she was okay physically.
I did not expect that this was just the start of a challenging and heartbreaking journey that I would face for the year 2013. Mom didn't make it after two more hospitalizations. The succeeding months after February, next is June, and October were months that I have spent in a hospital with Mom. In between months were days and weeks that I remember with bittersweet memories. The simple joys of having Mom around, being with her. To the point where I even disregarded invitations to join celebrations. I even asked for days of leave of absences, knowing I need to take care of her.
All these I have kept bottled up. Preferring to remember the joys and not the pain. But I needed to share, to remember that Mom wanted, always, all these time, for me to move on, take care of myself, my brothers, my sisters... I know she wanted me to look forward to a new beginning. Always keeping faith. Holding on to our dreams that we made together. The love that she has shown me will never fade away.
There were those times that she was recovering, or pretending to be okay for me? That I have made a trip to Malaysia and Singapore. I have purchased the tickets in advance, so many months in advance that I was even wondering If it will push through. But Mom was very supportive, and she said, pursue your dreams. GO.
After she passed away, Typhoon Yolanda came. The super typhoon could not compare to the pain of losing your loved one. It was like living at the end of the world. Flying objects, very strong winds, walking home and fighting against the wind. Food, shelter, clothing, and clean water became scarce in Estancia, Iloilo but we SURVIVED YOLANDA.
But the pain of losing Mom was greater, there will always be moments where you just need to let go, cry your heart out. Only faith in God and His promises for a better future makes me strong. Concentrating on work, having fun with family & friends, and most importantly preaching the Good News (www.jw.org) are my major sources of help that distracts me.
Going to Boracay for a holiday last December helps too. And that was my 2013 year in review.